TILL LAST BREATH......!!!!

It was your love, courage and pain, I came to this world.

Your desire and your hardship, helped me to witnessed the world.

You must have put on hold all your dreams and the achievement you wanted from life. Throughout your life, you planned for my life, my goals, my achievements and whatever you could.

You always prayed of my success, my health and a peaceful life.

You always think of – “the things you failed to do; that doesn’t happen to me” and you always supported me in the greatest possible way.

You had always stand along me, whatever the situation may be, in return you wanted nothing but my goodness.

During your last breath, I couldn’t be there, it was my faith and helplessness.

When I looking back; I wish, if I could do some justices to your lessons you taught to me and to my life, you wished for me.

As the time passed, I gradually gave importance to my ego in terms of self-respect. Now, I am at a such phase of life, where I can only regret, nothing can be corrected. I wished, if I could.

I wish, I could justify myself; Your dreams; Your love; I wish, if I could stand on it. I put your beliefs on hold.

You must be unhappy and helpless to see the life I am living today. I wish, I could request for forgiveness from you.

Now you are living in another world, watching me from there. Mamma, sorry will be very inapt; I wish in my next birth, you become my mother and I promise you; I will not make despair you.

During my last breath, when you are not with me, I want to confess my love and gratitude to you. Mamma, when I will close my eyes forever, I wanted your existence beside me. Please do come to take me with you. 

 

With love and desire, I welcomed you in my life…... we promised each other to live our dreams together……Our family was made with our dreams, love, affection, trust, hope, understanding and a promise to each other, we together will encounter every problem of our life together.

We cultured blossoms together…. You never accepted anything in return…...happily we accepted each other the way we were. I was on the 7^th cloud with you and my children. A family, I always wished of.

It’s true…. happiness doesn’t last for long…… it wasn’t in our destiny; my pride and my ego…...ended the whole thing. You people were blossoms of my eyes…. without you all, my existence was nothing.

Suddenly, the direction of wind changed; “You all, apple of my eyes” become cactus for me. Your existence in my life, was just like spikes which was hurting me deeply. This happened because, I let it be happened. I never tried to understand you all neither thought about your feeling.

The only priority, I given to my thought, my emotions, my respect, my decision. This is the reason; at this stage of life, I am standing alone. There is nobody to hold my hand.

When you all were there, I never respected your existence. Today, I only have my guilt; I want to erase all my bad deed which I did it to my loved ones.

I couldn’t become yours…...my love…...I wish, I could let you know it……throughout my life time I tortured you and still you were with me. During your last breath, I was with you and till that day, I didn’t act properly…. Till your last breath; I offended you, to the person who loved me more than her life.

Throughout my life, I lived with my ego and hatred, there was no space for love, affection and trust. My stubbornness destroyed everything.

When I look back, I wish, if I could bring the time back or I had a time machine through which, I can put the things correctly. But it’s impossible.

In my last time, I pray to god; “God! I know I am a wrongdoer. Please erase my bad deed from my memories, at least I can leave my body with good memories. At my last phase, I have got the punishment which I deserved and also you have made me realised about my deeds, the entity I want to have is good memories which will go with me.

“Memories…of childhood……Memories…..of teenaged…..Memories…… of 

youth……Memories…… of married life……Memories…….of parenthood…..Memories…… of been grandparent…….Memories long lasting memories……Memories give as an opportunity to cry….to laugh….to love…..to remember………”

My last wish …...

I wish, I could walk in the path shown by my mother…...

I wish, I could love the way, I wanted to love my partner…...

I wish, I could love my children, I wanted to……

I wish, I could get a rebirth…...

I wish, I could give justices to all my characters……...and to others.

Till my last breath…!!!!