The Unspoken Words
Expressing yourself and your words are very important to hold a relationship
and to make it an everlasting bond of love and respect. But the
reality is we fail... to show our love... , our gratitude.... and our
respect to the relationship which we hold with someone
special due to misunderstanding, ego, communication gap and so
on depending upon the circumstances. And at last we are left with nothing
and whole life we have to life with self-accusation.
I call my grandmother as "MAA”, she always expresses her love and concern and makes me feel how important I am in her life but I never did the same. I loved the way she loves me, her concern everything but I never made her feel, I really love her and she is an angel of my life and whatever lessons I have got from her will be there throughout my life. She has an especial place in my life, but I can never let her know what I feel about her: she is no more and the way she left us has broken me into guiltiness, which will be with me through my entire life.
I had only seen in movies and television how badly old aged people suffered and, in our country, there is no provision to address this issue and day by day it is reaching in an alarming state. My grandparents were left with nothing after their retirement, the only thing left was their 5 children: one son and four daughters. But unfortunately, in an accident my father passed away leaving behind us. Somehow, we managed to run our life, I got married, my brother got job and he moved to his job place with my mother as she was not ready to leave with my grandparents due to some personal issues and we all respected her decisions. Though my mother visited my grandparents place time to time. Time passed and I got pregnant, after a long dark night of 3 years there was joy in our family with a hope that my father will come back as my child.
But this happiness couldn’t resist for long time, during my 4 month of pregnancy my grandmother’s hip- bone got broken. Some initial medical treatment was provided but at the age of 78 she had a full faith that nothing will happen to her and she will be fine. She was very proud of all her children and grandchildren, but fate had to play its own game. This was the game to make her understand how wrong she was and what is the reality. After her accident there was a huge family drama between all of us and we all start playing blaming game and still it is running and she was left all alone with my grandfather. She was bed ridden suffering from bed -sole, and was left with nothing but with a hope that her son would take rebirth and will come to meet her. I gave birth to a little angel and we all believe she is my father because he always used to say if I am going to take birth again, I will come as a girl.
After I month of delivery, I visited her with my daughter and husband. When I entered the home, she was lying in a bed like a skeleton and was not able to open her eyes and even utter a single word. Everything was finished, there was a pause in my life, which still exist. I had never imaged that this could be her condition and I was left with nothing. At that movement I realised, why did I never tell her about my feelings, about my love, what she is for me. The thing I said was: Sorry Maa , I could not save your life , I had broken your faith ,if possible please forgive me.
I know there is no forgiveness for me, I wish if I could visit you early, I could cradle you, love you and today after 1years and 4 months I got the guts to apologize and to admit you are everything to me. Today, I have left all alone Maa , there is no one with whom I can fight , without having a taught I can say anything , there is no one who can understand me by seeing my face or hearing my voice.
On this Mother’s Day, I want to Say, Whatever Today I am is because of you.
I am lucky to have two mothers in my life…… Happy Mother’s Day Maa and Mummy
On this Mother’s Day , please take a pride to express your feeling and emotions towards your mother. Its not only about celebration but its about expressing yourself.
Happy Mother’s Day to All
I call my grandmother as "MAA”, she always expresses her love and concern and makes me feel how important I am in her life but I never did the same. I loved the way she loves me, her concern everything but I never made her feel, I really love her and she is an angel of my life and whatever lessons I have got from her will be there throughout my life. She has an especial place in my life, but I can never let her know what I feel about her: she is no more and the way she left us has broken me into guiltiness, which will be with me through my entire life.
I had only seen in movies and television how badly old aged people suffered and, in our country, there is no provision to address this issue and day by day it is reaching in an alarming state. My grandparents were left with nothing after their retirement, the only thing left was their 5 children: one son and four daughters. But unfortunately, in an accident my father passed away leaving behind us. Somehow, we managed to run our life, I got married, my brother got job and he moved to his job place with my mother as she was not ready to leave with my grandparents due to some personal issues and we all respected her decisions. Though my mother visited my grandparents place time to time. Time passed and I got pregnant, after a long dark night of 3 years there was joy in our family with a hope that my father will come back as my child.
But this happiness couldn’t resist for long time, during my 4 month of pregnancy my grandmother’s hip- bone got broken. Some initial medical treatment was provided but at the age of 78 she had a full faith that nothing will happen to her and she will be fine. She was very proud of all her children and grandchildren, but fate had to play its own game. This was the game to make her understand how wrong she was and what is the reality. After her accident there was a huge family drama between all of us and we all start playing blaming game and still it is running and she was left all alone with my grandfather. She was bed ridden suffering from bed -sole, and was left with nothing but with a hope that her son would take rebirth and will come to meet her. I gave birth to a little angel and we all believe she is my father because he always used to say if I am going to take birth again, I will come as a girl.
After I month of delivery, I visited her with my daughter and husband. When I entered the home, she was lying in a bed like a skeleton and was not able to open her eyes and even utter a single word. Everything was finished, there was a pause in my life, which still exist. I had never imaged that this could be her condition and I was left with nothing. At that movement I realised, why did I never tell her about my feelings, about my love, what she is for me. The thing I said was: Sorry Maa , I could not save your life , I had broken your faith ,if possible please forgive me.
I know there is no forgiveness for me, I wish if I could visit you early, I could cradle you, love you and today after 1years and 4 months I got the guts to apologize and to admit you are everything to me. Today, I have left all alone Maa , there is no one with whom I can fight , without having a taught I can say anything , there is no one who can understand me by seeing my face or hearing my voice.
On this Mother’s Day, I want to Say, Whatever Today I am is because of you.
I am lucky to have two mothers in my life…… Happy Mother’s Day Maa and Mummy
On this Mother’s Day , please take a pride to express your feeling and emotions towards your mother. Its not only about celebration but its about expressing yourself.
Happy Mother’s Day to All
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